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Monday, August 2, 2010

The Next Survivor??!!

We all get a few of these in our email inbox, but I couldn't resist posting this one. Please read on if you want a laugh. (Apologies to anyone who may find this offensive). Let me know what you think!! Michelle

THE
NEXT
SURVIVOR
SERIES

Six married men
will be dropped on an island

with one car
and 3 kids each
for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and take either music or dance classes.


There is no fast food.

Each man must

take care of his 3 kids; maintain his career,
keep his assigned house clean
,
correct all homework
,
complete science projects,

cook
,
do laundry,

and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.


In addition,

each man
will have to budget enough money
for groceries each week.


Each man
must remember the birthdays

of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out on time--no emailing.


Each man must also take each child

to a
doctor's appointment,
a
dentist appointment
and a
haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and
inconvenient
visit per child to the Emergency Room
.

He must also make
cookies or cupcakes
for a school function.


Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,

planting flowers outside,
and keeping it
presentable at all times.


The men will only have access to television

when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their
legs,

wear makeup daily
,

adorn themselves
with jewelry,

wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes
,

keep fingernails polished,


and
eyebrows groomed

During one of the six weeks,

the
men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches,
have extreme, unexplained mood swings

but never once complain or slow down
from other duties.


They must attend weekly school meetings

and church,
and find time at least once to spend

the afternoon at the park or a similar
setting.



They will need to read a book to the kids each
night
and in the morning,
feed them,
dress them,
brush their teeth
and
comb their hair

by 7:30 am.



A test will be given

at the end of the six weeks,
and each father will be required to know
all of the following information:
each child's
birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size,
doctor's name,
the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,

and what they want to be when they grow up.


The kids vote them off the island based on performance.


The last man wins only if...
he still
has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.



If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over and over
again for the next 18-25 years,
eventually earning the right
to be called Mother!






12 comments:

  1. Love it Michelle!! The "Survivor" email has made it to my inbox recently too!!! Hubby did manage a smile when he read it too. Hope you had a great weekend and thanks for your comment at my blog! Christine xo

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  2. They sound like they're getting off easy to me! That was really good Michelle.

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  3. That is awesome!!!! My hubby would be kicked off by lunch time on the first day LOL!!!

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  4. lol, I cried laughing reading that, so true! Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving such a kind comment on my Raven Glory Box :) I'm going to copy your post and email it to my friends now!
    xx Karen

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  5. omg. seriously, do we realise what hero's we are.
    man if only our men could do all that stuff...then maybe we could spend our free time playing xbox & watching spot on tv while punching the couch & gripping the remote control.

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  6. Thats so funny michelle, i love it!!! i really want to show my husband, they just dont have any idea do they?!! In fact, seeing it all written down is quite an eye opener; i know i certainly didnt quite realise how much us women do have to do every day. thanks for sharing that!!
    Laura xx

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  7. Oh Michelle, that was an asolute classic. Of course there wouldn't be a winner - we're talking about men here. He, he.
    Kristine
    xx

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  8. Oh my goodness when it's put like that it sounds exhausting and I don't know how we women do it...um not that I'm at the kids part of my life yet! I can't imagine even one of them lasting a week. Go Mums!!

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  9. You know the truth is, we could show this to our husbands, they would grunt in slight agreement and then they would forget it the very second the three year old needs to go to the toilet. What a great giggle! Thanks x

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  10. LOL I love it....will have to pass this on to my girlfriends! Thanks for sharing. X

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  11. ohmigoodness!!! this is too funny!!! thank you boat loads for sharing, this has definitely made my morning. could i copy this and post this on my blog??? do you mind? its hilarious! i love your blog and i am happy to follow you! have a beautiful day p.s. i love the side tables you bought! such potential :) xo

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Fantastic! I love it when you leave a comment.